I realized last week that I don't really like the new year. Something about the supposed "end" of the year seems too final to me. I wasn't ready for it to end. I have a mental list of things I wanted to do and the end of the year gives me the impression that the chance to do them has passed.
I also realized that I'm not looking forward to this year. I have this one, always-present goal (to finish the D) and that won't happen this year. My big plan - to finish by June '09 - seems like a reasonable amount of time for working this out, but the prospect of a full year of writing with no big huzzah during that time is a little discouraging. I need to devise a system of small rewards. Hummm.
I have to admit that returning to the unrelenting grind is difficult. (It relented while S was out of school; she returned today.) What I really want to do is lounge around and watch my new movie - Goonies! Fortunately, I pick up some new tea at TJ's and it packs a punch. So, Irish breakfast will lead me back to my computer and may even inspire the narrative turn that will win me a pat on the head from my department. Ugh. No wonder I lack motivation.
I'll leave you with this gem from Lewis Lapham introducing his editorial (in the Jan '08 issue of Harper's) - one I highly recommend reading:
"For politicians not only represent us.... They are, as a group, the hardest working professionals; they must continuously learn new masses of facts, make judgements, give help, and continue to please. It is this obligation, of course, that makes them look unprincipled. To please and do another's will is prostitution, but it remains the nub of the representative system." - Jaques Barzun
Enjoy the show!