Sunday, October 21, 2007


Being a graduate student at my advanced (though somewhat traditional) age gives me the sense of putting things on hold. Of course, I haven't put everything on hold (to which my family can attest). But this feeling of being on hold contributes to a general sense of urgency. I need to finish so that I can stop paying tuition, so I can find a job, so I can stop throwing money into the black hole that is rented housing. All of these are fine reasons for urgency. Yet, sometimes, I let the urgency to end the "holding" get out of hand. It grows to monstrous, all-consuming proportions.

I realized again today that the day-to-day is not "on hold." Everyone moves on whether I've written another page or not. So, I decided this Sunday to live in the moment (rather than the urgency). I didn't try to squeeze in the source that has momentarily stumped me. Instead, I cut S's hair and then we went out to look for her Halloween costume.*

This, my reality check, doesn't end the general sense urgency, but it contains it and reduces it to more realistic (and livable) proportions.

*After many weeks of consideration - and about a half dozen totally different ideas (ranging from a lizard to a princess to a "kissing snake"), S decided she wants to be Hermione (from HP). This evening, we found a Hogwarts robe and made a wand. (The wand has magic coming out the tip!)


Cabiria said...

Fun! I know what you mean -- I actually was reminded that even professors have lives outside of searching for sources this weekend. Ran into two from our department at the fabric store buying costumes for their tykes. It's like seeing a dolphin walking through the woods. Culture shock.

kungfuramone said...

I'm not there yet, V, but I still feel your pain...